GPOYW + 1 day: This-Is-Where-I-Want-To-Be-Right-Now Edition

I never actually blogged about Aruba in words, so here some fun facts about my trip (more for my record, than anything else):

• Despite what the photos show, I didn’t go alone, I’m not that cool (yet), I went with a really good friend, who I refer to as, Trophy Friend.  It was our 3rd year going away just the two of us, and as always, it was fabulousness. We have great plans of going away to pretty places until we’re great-grand-ma-mas.
• For those who asked, we stayed at the Holiday Inn resort.  It was the cheapest resort on Palm beach, the main beach.  I *would* recommend it, but be warned kids 11 and under stay/eat for free, which means it’s a VERY family resort. The beach was beautiful, the food was delicious (see scale for proof), and the room had a gorgeous beach/sunset view.
• I went snorkeling! It was my first time ever, and quite frankly, I had never had any desire to go, because fish are DISGUSTING. Why anyone would want to swim with them, and then feed them is beyond me. They’re terrifiying and scale-y and have huge potential to get stuck in my hair.  BUT, I sucked up my fears, and went, and it was SUPER cool. The fishies were super bright, and the water was a stunning blue. I still, however, had moments where I freaked out and splashed around viciously in an attempt to make the fish leave me alone, but overall it was amazing and something I thought I’d never do (see me standing on the beach in Hawaii waving to my family snorkeling, because I hate fish that much). Ps I have no problems with sharks. Huh.
• I didn’t have stomach issues on this trip (TMI? Maybe, but Aruba: 1, Cuba: 0, Dominican: 0), but… I got a crazy-ass weird eye infection and a heat rash on my legs, because the sun burnt me down to my bones.  So yup, those things were not fun.
• Aruba is TINY (33k by 12k), so instead of doing a set tour, we rented a car and road tripped the entire island. This was one of the best days of my life.  We took a tiny car, off roading and are SO LUCKY we didn’t get stuck in the desert of Aruba’s coast. We ventured to the north, east, south and west.  And explored beautiful churches, and picture perfect beaches.  I saw one of the most beautiful beaches of my life, and realized (the hard way) what a blessing shade is.

Overall, my favourite beach trip so far; very relaxing, beautiful, and warm. Oh, how I love the hot, hot sun!

It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not. 

In Aruba, I was not skinny, in Aruba I had not lost 50 pounds, in Aruba I was my own worst critic; self conscious of every movement, at any given time.

Of course, no one was watching me, I already knew this, but what if they did.  I wore tank tops and shorts on all walks, looked both ways before running into the sea,  I was so nervous of someone catching a glimpse of my size. 

I lived in complete fear on a beautiful beach in Aruba.  

The beach chairs were the worst. 

I was on display for the world to see, for people to judge. But I had my techniques, I would stretch out, making myself longer, making myself skinnier.  I would point my toes, in a feeble attempt to gain some, any, calf definition. I would rest my arm down the side of my stomach… made up techniques, to make myself appear smaller than I was, when absolutely nobody was watching me.

My thighs were the worst; the cellulite, Oh. My. God. The cellulite.  I’d lie in the sun, eyes-closed, stretched-out, sucking-in, toes-pointing and think of my thigh cellulite.  I imagined it sparkling with mountains and valleys in the bright sun, being compressed down on by my weight, letting the fat ripple out the sides.

On the last day there I took a photo of my left thigh, I wanted to see how bad the cellulite I had envisioned all week, truly was. I took 3 photos and then squinted in the sun to see the results.  It was all in my head, all of it; what a shame.

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“That which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny. Be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves”

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ps if this was Twitter, I’d hashtag it with #crotchshot 

~ I think I may like food more than people: Aruba 2011  ~

~ I can’t even come up with a cheesy saying here, these are some of my outfits in super-awkward posy shots. My apologies. Obviously, bottom right is my fav: Aruba 2011 ~

~ The Deep Blue Sea: Aruba 2011 ~

~ From Sunrise to Sunset we Dance: Aruba 2011 ~

~ High Fives For You. And for me. And for the View: Aruba 2011 ~

~ Happy as a Clam: Aruba 2011 ~

~ Off-Road Road Trips, Not for the Faint of Heart: Aruba 2011 ~

~ Praise the good Lord: Aruba 2011 ~