So i have this thing called a weight loss blog. I know, weird, right? I started it ages and ages ago, trying to keep myself accountable for the extra pounds I carried on my waist.

It started little, very small actually, I think only two people read my words for the first 6 months, but that actually somewhat suited me.  I did well with my weight too. No exercise, just watching what I ate. And of course, the little weight loss blog helped me too.  I’d want to eat something, but then the thought of confessing it to my two little readers wouldn’t sit well, so I’d walk away from it, and in turn lost weight. It was fantastic, I had found the 21st century diet - and it was all online!

Then the months ticked on, and the little weight loss blog grew, and with it my goals, and dreams, and my awareness that others were suddenly reading my words.  I started shifting the posts, occasionally at first, to other things about the little life I lead, and less and less about my actual weight.  Of course, that meant I had broken my new diet, but it was my blog, my prerogative, my choice, I didn’t have to blog my weight if I didn’t want to, just my life, from little things, to the big.

And so I did just that, ignoring my weight, for months and months and months.

But there was one little problem with all of that, and that was this: I wasn’t being held accountable any more.  If I stepped on the scale, and the number was up, nobody needed to know, right?  People would message me, “but what about One Twenty Five?” the silly little name I had given my blog. And I’d quickly delete those messages, because out of sight, out of mind…

And so I kept on blogging about life things, not scale or weight or food things, and the loss of accountability started to show. In my pants. In my dresses. In my skirts. And on the scale. I was gaining, ever so slowly, but I was gaining.

Every morning you can step on the scale, see a higher number, and think about the previous day…  you can wonder why the scale is up, or look at the reality of the situation. You, my friend, ate too much. That’s it. It’s simple, really.  There is absolute no secret to this weight loss game. [[I learned that one the hard way]]

My scale is up because I’ve eaten too much. I promise you that. I’ve eaten more than the girls who weigh one twenty five, one thirty five, or one forty five. It’s actualy simple math.

Losing weight is about not lying to yourself. At the end of the day, when you’re lying in bed, did you eat right? It’s a simple yes or no answer.  For the last 6 months I’ve told myself yes, would get annoyed at the scale, but the reality was obviously no. 

Weight loss is hard. It’s constant. And takes a long, long time. It’s a commitment, a decision to you and yourself. If you want to lose weight, if you envision yourself smaller, at some point you’re going to actually have to make the decision and do it, so what about tonight?

I’ve learned it doesn’t matter how many inspiring weight loss blogs you read, how many weight loss shows you watch, how many size smaller clothes you buy (ohmygod I have so many!), how many times you say, I want to lose weight, until you actually sit there alone, and realize that at some point you will have to not eat those cupcakes when they’re offered to, not order the side fries, not walk to the kitchen for the late night snack, until you sit there and make that decision, and stop lying to yourself, you’re living in this weight loss world of wishing and hoping and not committing. Which has been me for the last 6 months.

I weigh 158 pounds. That means I’m up 12 pounds since my low of 147 on March 1st.  I’m recommitting, tonight, right now, because there’s no point in wasting another day, right? I’m going to hold myself accountable for you and for me. No more lies. No more stupid decisions. No more wishing and hoping without the dedication and hard work that goes with it.

My name is Liz, I want to lose 33 pounds by December 31, 2011 (remember, a goal without a deadline is just a dream), no more lying, no more being stupid, no more making bad decisions and then wondering why. Let’s do this.

I’m in. Are you?