The Paleo Diet: So Easy, A Caveman Can Do It.
On Thursday, June 30th, 2011 you and I will have lost 5 pounds each. Or not. We will have accomplished a goal on our list, carried out a life desire, completed something we want to do. Or not. Each of us will be the sole individual responsible for our outcome. Will laziness defeat us? Will weakness, in a moment of desire, win? Will we put forth the work necessary to change ourselves, to fight for what we want? Anything is possible in the month of June, it’s our choice whether or not we make it happen.
On June 30th I’ll ask you a question, “How much weight did you lose?" What do you want your answer to be? As lame as it all sounds, you are the master of your fate, whether it be weight loss, running, or in life. Make the change. It’s one simple month.
It’s no secret I’m a huge believer that weight loss is all about food. You can sit on the couch and lose weight, or run marathons and gain weight. At the end of each day, when you’re lying in bed, whether you gained or lost weight, will be because of your food intake.
Calories In MUST be less than calories out.
Personally, I like diets because they kick start me. The first few days are always horrific, but after you get past the I-want-sugar-and carbs-now! phase and break your routine, I find they’re really successful.
So, as stated, I’m doing the latest fad (because I want to be part of the cool kids and lose weight), The Paleo Solution: The Original Human Diet. I read the book, and honestly? I thought it was really well written, and entertaining, but a little science-y and drawn out - I seriously don’t care about the science behind losing weight, just tell me how to look hot, skinny and sexy the quickest way possible, and preferably in point form please and thank you! - but luckily, because of this awesome thing called Google.com and friends who have already tried it, I managed to find lots of abbreviated versions. The lovely Amy directed me to The Whole 30 website which is is AWESOME.
So, Paleo in my own words (Source: My Head)
Pretty much for the month of June, I’m (we’re?) going to pretend I’m a cave-woman, a hunter-gatherer if you will, someone living in the stone age who can only eat food from the “Paleolithic Era” (hence the name of the diet and don’t worry, I had never heard of that era either). The era was way before the agriculture revolution and animal husbandry (which is the mass breeding and raising of livestock).
Anywho, it’s a simple concept: I can only eat/consume what my cave woman, bear-skin-wearing, fire-dancing, Paleo-times-living self would have eaten. (I was super hot, fit, and tanned back then, trust me.)
FOODS THAT WILL MAKE ME HOT: meat, fish, shellfish, eggs, tree nuts, vegetables, roots, fruit, berries, mushrooms etc.
FOODS THAT WILL MAKE ME FAT: grains, dairy, beans/legumes, potatoes, sugar, processed (delicious) foods.
There is a lot of controversy to this whole “Paleo diet” thing so PLEASE, if you choose to do it, research it for yourself and/or buy the book! (preferably through my link on the side, because then I get a wee bit of $$ for my skinny-clothes collection :)). But yes, research it yourself, and know what you’re doing, because, ya know, I don’t want to get sued or anything.
But essentially, the first 30 days (which are the strictest) will “reset my metabolism, systemic inflammation, and the downstream effects of the [crappy] food choices” I’ve been making. Whatever that all means, but yes, it’s apparently going to “Change My Life,” and make my ass smaller, so? I’m ready to jump in!
Paleo in Point Form (source: The Whole 30)
- Eat real food – meat, fish, eggs, tons of vegetables, some fruit, and plenty of good fats. Eat foods with very few ingredients, all pronounceable ingredients, or better yet, no ingredients listed at all because they’re natural and unprocessed. (Full shopping list here)
- DO *NOT* EAT (you just know the below list will be all the delicious things in life)
- Do not eat processed foods. This includes protein shakes, pre-packaged snacks/meals, protein bars, milk substitutes, sweetners (OMIGOD WHAT ABOUT MY COFFEE?) etc.
- Do not drink alcohol, in any form. (psshhh I know I’ll be breaking this for my sister’s bachelorette weekend of awesome)
- Do not eat grains. This includes (but is not limited to) wheat, rye, barley, millet, oats, corn, rice, sprouted grains and all of those gluten-free pseudo-grains like quinoa. (Yes, we said corn!) This also includes all the ways we add wheat, corn and rice into our foods in the form of bran, germ, starch and so on. Again, read your labels. SO WHAT YOU MEAN IS NO CARBS? RUDE.
- Do not eat legumes. This includes beans (black, kidney, lima, etc.), peas, lentils, and peanuts or peanut butter. This also includes all forms of soy – soy sauce, miso, tofu, tempeh, edamame, and all the ways we sneak soy into foods (like lecithin). LUCKILY I DON’T CARE FOR BEANS, JUST GREEN BEANS WHICH WE CAN EAT
- Do not eat dairy. This includes all cow, goat or sheep’s milk, cream, butter, cheese, yogurt, whey, ice cream, etc. O.K., O.K., LET’S NOT GET TOO CARRIED AWAY. HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT DAIRY? I’M CRYING ALREADY.
- Do not eat white potatoes. It’s arbitrary, but they are carbohydrate-dense and nutrient poor, and also a nightshade. WAIT, SO BROWN POTATOES ARE O.K? DO THEY EVEN EXIST? SCIENTIST, GET ON THIS.
- Also, if you click the link above, you’ll see they say, “don’t step on the scale,” I don’t care about that, I will be stepping on the scale; I NEED to see the scale to stay motivated.
O.k., this is long. Too long. I’m a lazy person and probably wouldn’t read a post this long, but maybe some of you did. It seems simple, right? If you have a question, google it or leave it below (comments, not tumblr replies - so I can try to answer), as there are TONS of sites out there about it.
I’m going to go grocery shopping tomorrow and I’ll post exactly what I buy - but see this list here, and I’m going to put LOTS of effort into recipes and things (y’all will see them as I try them). I like how there are no limits on quantity (exception fruit: 2 max/day), and I don’t have to count calories. SCORE!
Also, I realize I’m ‘hosting’ this challenge, but PLEASE know that I’m terrified of this. It’s strict, and seems SUPER hard, and I think the title is BS. Cavemen were forced to do it, they would have eaten McDonalds if they could. But point? We’re all in this together.
Hope this helps someone, anyone, you?
Good luck and happy caveman, shedding-some-weight, eating,
ps. Questions? Comments? Concerns? Comment below! I’m learning as I do this too.
Tomorrow: Running the 5k details!