Time Capsule of Thoughts
~ People do time capsules of things. Here’s a time capsule of my thoughts at 27 years, 10 months, and 15 days old. These are the thoughts I believe on this day, I’m sure in the next 10 years they’ll all greatly change ~
On my body
My whole life has been a rollercoaster on the way I view my body. In the last 4 years I’ve gone from hating, despising and wishing I was anybody but me, to accepting. To understanding the potential it has, and becoming fully aware that I, and I alone, am in complete control of the strength, and size of my body. I like my teeth, hair, and smile. And I’ve learnt to see the potential of what my body is capable of (marathons, hiking, crossfit, travelling). I have accepted that ‘weight loss’ and I will be bffs for life. And I’ve learned (and this is rather recently) that it’s not about one specific “ah-ha” moment, but rather a series of making better decisions each, and every day. I now realize how much binge eating & being overweight is mental (for a long time I really thought I just liked food more than most people). Currently I am considered “obese,” and currently, once again, I am trying to lose weight. Part of me wonders if I ever will… that really scares me.
I believe true love exists, but I also believe that there is more than one person out there for everybody. I think broken hearts are one of the worst things ever, and that butterflies from a forehead kiss are one of the best. I know that getting out of bed when you’re warm and happy in somebody you love’s arms is nearly impossible. Actually, I don’t think I know that much about ‘love,’ and sometimes I think I’m really bad it at; that I expect more than I give. I also know I get jealous really easily, and am hard to read. (One day) I want to get married & have kids, and I know we’re not supposed to say this, but I would be really upset if this never happens to me. I’m terrified of divorce, but know that sometimes ultimately it’s probably the best thing, and one thing I do know about love, is that even if it’s real and pure, and all that, it’s really hard work.
I don’t know; I have my days. I guess if I’m being really honest I like the idea of religion. A lot, actually. I think if it helps someone better their life, and isn’t pushed onto others, I have no qualms with it. But. But I also like to believe that if there is a heaven or hell, it’s not going to come down to me being judged on whether I believed someone/thing existed, or believed in a book, but rather the way I lived my life. From the little things to the big. How I treated others, how I dealt with situations, whether I grew, learned, loved, helped others - whether I was a good person.
Hmmm. I go through phases of being political and wanting to know every and anything about a topic. I research. I learn. I form an opinion. And then I go through periods of tuning out all things political (I am so out of the whole US election at the moment!). I think voting is very important - if you don’t vote, don’t complain. And I always find it interesting that political parties can be so different, yet countries are divided so evenly. Are 50% of the country really ‘wrong’? I also think most people are easily swayed by the media, friends, family and rarely actually research for themselves. And I often think there isn’t really a political party that reflects my current view points correctly; gay marriage, pro-choice, universal health care? Yes please. But I also really believe people are better (smarter) at spending their own money than government is. (note: I’ve never brought politics onto my bloggy, and probably, never again will).
I love life, I do. And I know that’s corny, and eye rolling-worthy, but I’m constantly impressed with people, and the Earth we live on. I love how it’s a choose-your-own-adventure type of deal… if you want it to be. From travelling for the past year I’ve learned the importance of Monday to Friday and creating a life where you don’t live for the weekends, or vacations, but rather your Tuesday booze ‘n books club, dinner with your friends on Thursday, or a night in on Monday. At 27, I can definitely feel a slow shift in the things I want; from seeing the world & adventure, to stability and constants. I am really (really!) craving buying spoons and cutting boards lately.