Another good day in the books. Another strong, good day. Another crossfit day.

I still find it amazing how scared I was on that first day. How the whole day at work I couldn’t stop thinking about it. How I truly, within my gut (PUN!), thought I was too fat for crossfit. Thought I was too unfit to move weights, or tires, or whatever awful movements they did.

Would I be the tubbiest of the tubby there? Would I be the worst of the worst?  Would I be the weakest of the weak? Would I come last… I always come last. 

Well… it turns out I was the tubbiest, worst, weakest, and yup, I came last (by a lot), but it also turned out it didn’t matter. Not that day, or any day after.

The first time “pushups” were included in the WOD (workout of the day), I couldn’t do more than five woman pushups, so I had to lean against the wall. They still hurt. And I felt embarrassed having to leave the group on the ground, but still, I did them all.

And I never added weights to my bar in the beginning. Never ever. Hell, the bar itself was damn heavy. And I didn’t know what to do with kettle bells, or the rowing machines, or how to even squat properly. And don’t even get me started on all their funny terms: WOD, RX, snatch, push press, clean n’ jerk, AMRAP, what do they all mean?!?!

But I kept going. Day after day. Week after week. I kept trying. And fighting, and doing. And lo and behold I improved. And slowly, really, really slowly I started learning, and understanding, and becoming one of those people I’d see on blogs, or in the news.

And then yesterday happened.

Yesterday was my first real crossfit session. I say “real” because yesterday was the first day, I showed up, ready to sweat and push and fight for my fitness. Yesterday I swear I felt myself losing weight.

I pushed myself like I had never pushed myself before. Through the pain (huh.. so that is possible), through the sweat in my eyes, through the time ticking down. Yesterday I gave it my all and felt like a real, true, crossfitter. Yesterday I was so proud of myself to sticking with it, for never giving up, for not deciding I was too fat for crossfit.

And today, today I am stronger. And today I am calling myself a crossfitter.