hello. over there, hello to you. so i am tipsy. and/or drunk. usually i hate posts that start with that. but let’s go honest at it, shall we? and we’ll leave it up to an arbitrator to solve the debate over tipsy or drunk. mmmkay? this is so not the right post to welcome new people to my blog, but frankly, i don’t care. today was a good day. 2nd last day of work. ever? well, at least for a while… work bid me farewell with shots and beer and did I mention jagerbomb shots? because 6 of them later…. a boy from work asked me to stay over. i said no. because wha? but he was sweet. really. he was. another boy cornered me and told me i was pretty. i used to like that one, and so i smiled at him and asked, why now?  he responded, I was scared. of what? you, and your smile, was his answer.  i wonder how many missed opportunities happen in this world because people are scared. stupid question right there, because obviously lots. oh what a shame! so life is good. i am happy. a week tonight, right now, this moment, i’ll be on plane to berlin for my marathon. and then my trip. big trip. i’m so scared i’m looking for something. hoping for something. searching for something. when it doesn’t exist. when something won’t happen. or realizing that what i’m looking for actually is surrounding me right now. what if. but life is good. chances will be made. risks will be taken. i always feel the need to somehow tie my weight back to this little blog, because, well, it’s about me and my weight after all, but not tonight, not right now, i don’t want to. this trip coming up? it’s about me. two hundred pounds. or one twenty five. it really wont’ matter. i want to see things. meet people. believe in the world around me. gain faith in you, and society.  i’m so scared. yet so, so excited.